i’m just curious.

a few posts ago, maryse asked me about my studies and my future plans.

i never really know what to say when people ask about my plans for the future or what career i’m working towards. “a filmmaker” has been my default answer for years, but honestly, i’m not sure if i’m driven (or have enough confidence) to get deep into “the business” or if i’m even fit to make movies, though i have enjoyed the few small films i’ve worked on.

i wish i could say i was one of those people who have had their lives mapped out since kindergarten. sure, i decided that i wanted to make films at a pretty young age, but i have a pocketful of other unrelated interests and dreams and aspirations, as well. it took me a long time to get my shit together post-high school because i was always under the impression that what you studied in college accurately reflected what you would go on to do after you graduate. naturally, it took me three years, a failed stint at fashion school, and two years at a junior college to decide what path is right for me. and, even though i now have an idea of where i’m going from here (i’ll be transferring to a university to finally get my bachelor’s in film), i’m still just as confused as i was when i graduated high school four years ago!

to be honest, i’m studying film simply to learn more about a medium i love, appreciate and respect. movies swept me away when i was just a little girl. the ones i fall in love with can affect me in the most powerful of ways and the dazes they leave me in can be tough to snap out of. what i plan on doing with my degree(s) when things are all said and done is up in the air. for me, film school isn’t a vehicle to get me into the film industry and it’s certainly not a means to an end, it’s just one of the pit stops i’m making along my nomadic journey of exploring and satisfying my curiosity. what’s next? maybe culinary school, maybe writing my first feature, maybe a voyage around the world! who knows! who cares? spontaneity’s my middle name and i wouldn’t want to be called anything else.