is it just me or is the logic behind greenlighting this movie completely messed up? i was watching this film for the first time a few hours ago—i believe it was on hbo—and i was gobsmacked that someone actually gave the okay on this.
i mean, lorne michaels has produced some pretty bad snl movies, but most of ‘em came out in the ’90s, when it was easier to get a movie made, and when snl was coming off what could arguably be considered its best five-year stretch (the farley, sandler, myers, spade, hartman run).
but while i was watching this movie, i got a little irritated. why? because all you hear about in la (or film school, to be more specific) is how hard it is to make movies nowadays. and i don’t mean the low(er) budget, straight-to-the-festival-circuit types, i’m talking studio-backed, wide-released movies. it’s too expensive, people don’t want to take risks, etc., etc.
then what the fuck is macgruber? how was this not a huge risk? has there ever been a good snl crossover movie? night at the roxbury, maybe? i don’t even know. i’m struggling to think of one here. and to make it worse, this skit isn’t even funny in its original format. that’s the part that gets me. if i were one of the suits, i would’ve seriously greenlit a 3-hour epic based on “the barry gibb talk show” before i gave this a thumbs up. at least stuart saves his family was based on a mildly amusing skit. even superstar had a few choice moments, but this right here just fucks with my head.
if you had a dog that kept crapping on your bathroom rug, would you put him in the bedroom hoping he’d improve with the more expensive carpeting? no, you wouldn’t. because that’s just ridiculous.
ugh, i think i’m sick with some kind of weather-induced illness, but everyone keeps telling me it’s nothing but a bad case of allergies. the drool on my pillow wakes me up at least once every hour and there isn’t much i can do about it since i can’t breathe through my nostrils at night. swallowing even the tiniest swig of water feels like i’m downing shotglasses full of improperly chewed tortilla chips. my eyes are blurry and sting from sleep deprivation. i’m not usually one of those people who act like huge babies when they’re sick, but i’m thisclose to bunking with my mama tonight and having her rub my back with vick’s vaporub as i fall asleep.
i’m thinking that the cure for this untimely bug is a climatic change. i don’t know what the current outlook is looking like in other parts of the world, but here in southern california, it’s colder than the antithesis of hell. my flaking skin, achy throat, and crystalline boogers are on their hands and knees begging for the summer sun. alas, it looks like rain, snow (!!), heavy winds, and degrees below 50 (aka intolerable for native angelenos) are in the week’s forecast. so, for the time being i’m depending on the characters in some of my favorite beach movies to help me think warm thoughts and soak up some imaginary sunrays. nurses annette funicello and sandra dee, to my rescue!
i never really know what to say when people ask about my plans for the future or what career i’m working towards. “a filmmaker” has been my default answer for years, but honestly, i’m not sure if i’m driven (or have enough confidence) to get deep into “the business” or if i’m even fit to make movies, though i have enjoyed the few small films i’ve worked on.
i wish i could say i was one of those people who have had their lives mapped out since kindergarten. sure, i decided that i wanted to make films at a pretty young age, but i have a pocketful of other unrelated interests and dreams and aspirations, as well. it took me a long time to get my shit together post-high school because i was always under the impression that what you studied in college accurately reflected what you would go on to do after you graduate. naturally, it took me three years, a failed stint at fashion school, and two years at a junior college to decide what path is right for me. and, even though i now have an idea of where i’m going from here (i’ll be transferring to a university to finally get my bachelor’s in film), i’m still just as confused as i was when i graduated high school four years ago!
to be honest, i’m studying film simply to learn more about a medium i love, appreciate and respect. movies swept me away when i was just a little girl. the ones i fall in love with can affect me in the most powerful of ways and the dazes they leave me in can be tough to snap out of. what i plan on doing with my degree(s) when things are all said and done is up in the air. for me, film school isn’t a vehicle to get me into the film industry and it’s certainly not a means to an end, it’s just one of the pit stops i’m making along my nomadic journey of exploring and satisfying my curiosity. what’s next? maybe culinary school, maybe writing my first feature, maybe a voyage around the world! who knows! who cares? spontaneity’s my middle name and i wouldn’t want to be called anything else.
i saw true grit yesterday and i’ve been in a coen daze since. this usually happens every time i see a coen-helmed movie (or any beautifully crafted movie, really) for the very first time. their films bring me so much joy, yet they give me bouts of melancholia because i know i can’t live in a world created by their minds. seriously, all i want is to live inside their stories. i want to be an offbeat character with an unusual life story and snappy conversational skills. i want to drown in pitch black humor and march to the beat of a haunting and perfectly curated soundtrack. but unfortunately, my life isn’t a dark&disturbed, roger deakins photographed, canted fantasyland. i have jobs to apply for, grades to earn, animals to rear, and relationships to tend to. i wish i could twinkle my nose like samantha stephens and have real life go away. just for a little while.
i’m off to watch the hudsucker proxy, the man who wasn’t there, and the big lebowski back-to-back-to-back. the only antidote for this daze is massive amounts of cobro consumption until my mind is able to release all this excitement. kinda like treating a snake bite (or is that only in movies?).
man, living in america is sorta alright sometimes. i just finished watching white christmas and a charlie brown christmas back-to-back, and in just a few moments it’s a wonderful life will be playing on nbc. i’m stuffing stockings and baking cookies for sandy claws to the tunes of the vince guaraldi trio. incredibly cheese, but it’s reaaaally hitting all my soft spots right now.
tomorrow will be filled with gift-giving, tummy-stuffing, and true grit-watching. what are some of your favorite movies to watch this time of year?the nightmare before christmas, jingle all the way, and home alone are always in my rotation.
well, my mac has been toast for over a week now (i hate those system updates, they kill my computer nearly every single time), so posts may be sporadic for the next week or so (as if they weren’t sporadic already, haha). i’ve been using my wittle bitty pc laptop that’s about the size of a sheet of paper. it works fine, but the keyboard’s so small and i have a pair of pretty hefty paws, so it’s really uncomfortable to type on and i haven’t had the patience or motivation to deal with this adorable yet frustrating machine.
anyway! dude, i’ve been neglecting my well dressed men. between the excitement of mission: organized chaos and cognating (is that even a word?) over my lack of love life, i’ve put my dapper fellows on the back burner. to make up for my negligence, this edition of wdmiwmf will feature a man who is arguably the most well dressed man ever caught on film: sir michael caine. a few months ago, my friend anna (of d16) and i swooned over m.c.’s style in the very first edition of wdmiwmf. instead of featuring him in a list alongside other well dressed actors, i decided that he is so stylish… so elegant… so debonair that he needed a list of his own. seriously, have you ever seen a photo of him where he’s not well put together?**
as harry palmer in the ipcress file (1965)
“you didn’t come here to talk to me about button mushrooms and birds.”
(i need these glasses in my life. i’ve been searching high and low for a pair that’s as close to them as possible. they’re the perfect “statement” black-rimmed glasses, without going into ironic-hipster territory.)
as lieutenant gonville bromhead in zulu (1964)
“fear certainly dries the throat, doesn’t it? i was never so thirsty in my life!”
as milo tindle in sleuth (1972) andrew: so, i understand you wish to marry my wife. milo: with your permission, of course.
as charlie croker in the italian job (1969)
“you wouldn’t hit a man with no trousers on, would you?”
as jack carter in get carter (1971)
“you know, i’d almost forgotten what your eyes looked like. they’re still the same — pissholes in the snow.”
as cutter in the prestige (2006)
“obsession is a young man’s game.”
as elliot in hannah and her sisters (1986)
“for all my education, accomplishments and so-called wisdom, i can’t fathom my own heart.”
as alfie elkins in alfie (1966)
“i don’t want no bird’s respect — i wouldn’t know what to do with it.”
